Often when creating clips, I have to stop and ask if guys can be expected to masturbate to what I’m making. Then I remember that hasn’t been a priority of mine for years. I had fun back in the day filming body worship and JOI clips, and sometimes I’ll revisit those simple themes. However, the work I’m creating now is so much more sophisticated than a basic whackie and that’s what really sets OLA apart. Thoughtful planning is put into every detail that you see and hear, and my latest cinematic series Penis Problems Clinic(PPC) is another example of this quality. Still, while PPC has all the hallmarks that make OLA great, from visual motifs to custom scoring, this story is unlike anything I’ve released before. It’s a raunchy trope of public embarrassment with lots of sexy close-ups and humorous gags to balance out the visceral humiliation.
The penis was an obvious visual motif for this series. The idea started when I needed to print a form to use as a prop. In order to make the medical form look legitimate, albeit cheesy, I created a medical logo to put at the top of the page. Creating logos became a bit second nature after making OLA parody versions of famous icons for my clip, Brain Burner. I had also already made a few reconstructions of my OLA spiral heart logo for previous series. So for the PPC logo, I put my basic skills to work making the shaft, the balls, the slight curve and the little pee hole at the tip. The clinic’s name was filled into the empty spot and the Penis Problems Clinic trademark was born. Fun fact – I’ve used that penis on several occasions, including for the graphic art for SXIVM.
The logo for Penis Problems Clinic isn’t the only place the phallic friend is featured. Each of the four main characters in the series has a penis near and dear to her. Pens, mugs and pillows are just some of the specialty items I secured to fill the story with cock and balls. The sassy receptionist has a couple of cute penis pens and she’ll let you use one to fill out your form. The nurse is so naughty that she wears a penis pendant around her neck. The condescending doctor keeps it professional with a penis lapel pin on her lab coat. The pharmacist sips from a mug decorated with many penis bouquets – plus she hands out penis-shaped pills all day long. All of these items were discovered on Etsy, but I did buy a couple of the props from Alibaba. It had the cheapest price for the biggest penis pillow I could find, as well as an inexpensive penis cross-section model.
Acquiring medical items was a unique task for Penis Problems Clinic. I’m not into medical fetish so most everything had to be purchased specially for this series. I wasn’t about to buy an expensive exam table without a future use or crowd up my film room with a privacy screen to mimic a hospital. So, a wheeled medical tray seemed like a suitable and more economic alternative. The penis cross-section was a main feature in the room, along with medical swabs and a glass jar to hold them. I found a three-pack of glass jars that looked basic enough and I bought comically large swabs to put inside the largest. I had to cut about an inch off of each swab, one by one, to get them to fit in the jar. One never sees blank walls in an exam room, so a poster of male anatomy was an easy choice to fill in the set. Everything else was already in the props department, from the magnifying glasses to the table to the Magnum condoms.
Wardrobe was a fun element to this series. As I was making final selections, blue was showing itself as a repeated color, so I made sure that it was featured on all of the characters. Even though they’re all wearing blue, they had to have distinct outfits that highlight their different jobs. Of course the Lava Links features your typical girl-next-door in fun and casual tops. The receptionist looks semi-professional in a knit polo shirt, but her bright-pink miniskirt reveals too much of her thighs and stockings for a legitimate medical establishment. The nurse is wearing a real nursing uniform, only it’s obvious she doesn’t have bra or panties underneath. The doctor wears a lab coat but that’s the only professional piece of attire she has on because her skimpy sandals are strappy and make her almost barefoot while her gaudy dress looks like she’s headed straight to the lounge after work to pick up men. The pharmacist wears something almost appropriate but the eyelets in her button shirt are so huge that you can see her bra which matches her brown, shiny spandex leggings. All of the outfits allowed for a variety of alluring shots and angles.
Both cameras were set on tripods with my POV lens attached to cam-A and cam-B responsible for raunchy money shots. The most creative capture was for the naughty nurse, as she had to load up the medical tray with items and walk towards the camera. I don’t use auto-focus with tripod shots(manual focus only!), so it took a little figuring out to get right. Inserts were also recorded for each of the clips within the series. They allowed me to focus attention on the gag props like the penis pens and the mini magnifying glass. Lighting was pretty simple for this series. The goal was to make it look realistic, so whites and yellows were used. The one portion with specialty lighting was that of the naughty nurse, once again. She likes to keep the lights off, so a soft glow of purplish blue was cast across the exam room. The contrast is noticed when the doctor comes into the much brighter room and remarks about the lights. The musical accompaniment is also to enhance the realism, with muzak-inspired waiting room tunes. Since the settings are public, the soundtrack didn’t need to stand out. Suspension of disbelief is aided further with the muzak put through a filter to make it sound like it’s coming over low-quality speakers. The song for the Lava Links commercial is more hot and sexy, however, to lure men in.
That’s the whole premise of Lava Links – to get men’s attention set on calling the number which books their appointment at the PPC. Lava Links a parody of Live Links and Lava Life, two hook-up/phone sex hot lines that ran TV ads in the early 2000s. The sweeping gimbal captures shots that hearken back to the original ads which always portrayed an attractive, smiling woman having fun on the phone. Of course an era-appropriate cordless phone was acquired specially for the authenticity of these scenes. Sexy commercials from 20 years ago weren’t my only inspiration, however. As it was getting close to the film session, I watched There’s Something About Mary. When planning the series, it was added as a film to reference, but it wasn’t until I had written the script that I watched the movie and it was apparent how appropriate it was. It turns out the whole movie is basically one penis problem after another. I knew I had a good thing cooking with Penis Problems Clinic.
To keep Penis Problems Clinic enjoyable to a wide audience of men who enjoy raunchy comedies, no penis problem is ever specified. You can let your mind wander, or draw from personal experience, as you make your way through the embarrassing and erotic world of the Penis Problems Clinic and the Pyramid family of companies. There are lots of sexy money-shots and plenty of flirty behavior, but don’t be surprised if you laugh almost as much as you masturbate.
